Misleading texts

When does giving your number to someone to hang out turn into them texting 16 times and calling 5 times over the course of 6 days! I only sent one text response on day #2. This guy was my supervisor when I was volunteering at Oktoberfest. When I attended the festival the next day I said hello. He was a cool guy so I gave him my number so we could hang out. I know I shouldn't assume all new acquaintences have purely platonic intentions, but I like to keep my perceptions of peoples' innocence until proven otherwise. The texts started out as We should hang out sometime and What are you up to tonight? to You would sleep well if I were cuddling you. When did the meaning of giving someone your number turn into an agreement to have sex? It sure doesn't mean that to me! Soon after this text I received another: BTW, how old are you? I really wanted to mess with him and say something like 17 or 36, but I just took the silent approach. I figured any responses would make matters worse or prolong the unnecessary text monologue. On day 5, I didn't get any texts or calls so I thought I was home free! Then, on day 6 I get: Why aren't you responding? Then You seem like a cool girl, all I want to do is hang out with you. And of course, around 5pm on Friday: We should hang out tonight, I really want to see you. Why? He knows nothing about me. I could be a phsycopath for all he knows.

During this same time period I received 13 calls from another number, with no voicemails left. I met a guy on Friday night who I was somewhat interested in...until he lit a cigarette. However, by that time I had already given him my number. So, I am assuming he is this second ghost caller, but he hasn't left any messages. The majority of people I know don't respond to unfamiliar numbers. I get tons of sales calls. I figure if someone really wants to talk they will leave me a voicemail. So I have just been ignoring that one.

This leads me to another point of frustration. Why is the main method of communication now text? I hate it. So much is lost to this new technology. Okay, it is not so new, but I have only been texting for about a year. Yes, it is convenient for quick messages to friends or when sending directions, small follow-ups to previous conversation, or a method to communicate last-minute group invites, but not for getting to know someone or communicating emotions. I don't want to look through the emoticon dictionary to understand my text messages. Texting is misleading.In the case of the abovementioned semi-stalker, he was trying to communicate with me through 15 word messages. Who knows, maybe he wasn't a creap that wanted to sleep with me, but I have no way of knowing that since I only had texts to interpret. Bad grammar is also a turn-off for me. I understand that grammar goes away with messaging, but if someone wants to impress me, they aren't going to do it with text slang.

A friend of mine argued that texting allows someone to test the waters to know if the person on the other line is interested. Well, that may be sorta true, but if someone has my number, that usually means I am interested. You can text with someone you have nothing in common with for weeks without realizing just that. You have as many hours as you would like to create a whitty text message. You can spend two weeks prolonging the inevitable. I like to know right away if I have common ground with someone. I can have a 20 minute phone conversation with someone and learn just as much, if not more than I could have with 2 weeks of text messaging. Efficiency. Plus, with actual voice-to-voice communication you can hear the inflection (or lack there of) in someone's voice, know if the LOL is legit or just an automatic texter response and most of all, understand sarcasm. I prefer those interested in me to call, and leave a message if they actually want to talk to me. Texting to initiate something shows me that there isn't a strong interest or confidence. Texting says to me that they aren't invested enough to take a risk.

The "little" people.

Numerous people around me seem to have something up their butt. The first contact I had with multiple colleagues this morning was a complaint of some sort that was an unnecessary insult to another colleague or myself. Maybe I am still in a haze from being surrounded by amazingly generous and kind people for the past 3 days but I have to vent.

1. First I am approached by my boss who said I need to be supporting my coworker who is alone at the front desk. Her tone of voice and body language was abrasively belittling. She acted as if I had not communicated with her and had left her stranded. Little did she know that we had communicated earlier, she just didn't communicate with us to know we had done so.
2. This was then followed by another colleague basically calling my coworker stupid for having forgotten to put forks on the lunch table for their meeting. It was one little mistake. She is not stupid, she just forgot a utensil. He could have gone downstairs and gotten forks and returned to his meeting in the time spent complaining to me.
3. Then I go on an errand to pick up treats a team will use in an interview. I went to the specific grocery store requested and got a magnificent platter of cookies and fruit for the meeting. The point of the treats is to keep a client group awake. I didn't know that required me to purchase chocolate covered coffee beans. Lost points in my admin intelligence there.
4. Soon after I was setting up a lunch video for my team to watch. This entailed hooking up a colleague's personal DVD player to a company computer in order to watch the Region 2 DVD. I was having difficulty so I asked a coworker to help. He started changing wires and then walked away. I tried to figure it out myself while being asked by 3 colleagues in a snoody voice: Is this going to happen or what? I called IT and my friendly desk support specialist came out to help. Within 2 minutes he got everything working while explaining to the first colleague (who had finally returned) why his set-up was not working. Said colleague rolled his eyes openly to those around and stated why his set-up was correct under his breath. Excuse me, but IT got it to work, he did not. Frankly, I am upset with the lack of respect my team gives our IT department. They act as if they know everything and forget the infrastructure behind the systems they use daily. Then they wonder why IT isn't always enthusiastic to help them. You kinda sorta have to be nice to them and listen when they talk in order to gain their respect. Often times the technology problems they experience have to do with not following directions from IT. They don't have protocols and instruction guides to feel powerful, they have them for prevention purposes. That is how they insure your technology will run smoothly. They rarely, if ever, get a call from someone who is happy. All of their calls are complaints and frustrations. I don't know how they do it everyday.

This was before lunch. Let's see what the rest of the day brings...

What happened?

I just looked in the mirror and thought: I feel beautiful. Odd to just say out of the blue. I mean, not that I feel ugly, just that I haven't felt that amazing lately. I just looked in the mirror and felt it. My life has been a whirlwind of craziness, but I am still alive and ticking. (Oddly enough after the weekend I had).

Lola went in for a trans-tracheal wash today. She had x-rays last week and her lungs look pretty gnarly. The tests won't be back for a couple of days, but most signs lead to chronic pneumonia. She is a trooper. I took her home after work and she spent the evening walking around the house crying or cuddled on the couch. I just took it easy with her and watched Rachel getting married. Which by the way is a good movie. It was a great role for Anne Hathaway.

My house may or may not have mold, but I have multiple leaks. I have a leak detection company coming next week. I also need to schedule an eye exam and dermatology appointment for myself. I just feel ridiculous for constantly being late and constantly needing time off for the same problems. I always feel like I am lying when I tell my boss I will be late because of Lola or because of my home problems. They both stopped believing and caring even though it is true. Oh well.

So this weekend. Well I would be lying if I didn't use the word epic for Sunday night. I cannot even believe what happened. Which is fine, because I don't know everything that happened. Here are a few highlights: Ashley and I had multiple tequila shots at home with the intention to not drink more at the bars. (This plan did not pan out). We were handed oatmeal cookie shots upon arrival to a snazzy club in Pioneer Square. I was escorted out of the bar because I was too intoxicated. The bouncers hung out with me and gave me water. (I can now get us in without cover whenever we want). We went to a second bar. It was goth night. We lost Ashley...who had my house keys. I lost my coat. I drunk dialed a dude I met while walking my dog Saturday night...multiple times. Ashley lost her house and car keys. I called Ashley 15 times from 1:51-2:13am...sobbing. I ran out of money. Jenny paid for my cab home. Some random dude heard me crying and helped me break into my house so I could let Lola out. Ashley cried at her door and then proceeded to walk down Aurora back to my house. The kitchen counter remains show that I ate nachos with almonds as a drunken snack. We found my shoes, phone and a men's jacket outside of my door in the morning. Monday was difficult.

I am still shocked as to how this all happened and how none of us knew what was going on. I stayed home most of Monday, which is very difficult for me to do. Lola didn't want to walk and I didn't have the energy to go to any exercise classes or run, so I stayed home and finally organize my closet and folded laundry. Interesting how the small things seem to put some of the puzzle pieces back together. Okay, so going back to my initial statement regarding beauty. Having these encounters with men this weekend boosted my confidence. I felt ugly after tri-guy. I wasn't wanted. I felt like an experiment, I was used to see if he was ready to get back in the dating game. Unfortunately I am in a different mindset in regards to relationships. Anyway... Having a guy stand outside of a bar watching his and my dog play for 20 minutes while talking to me felt good. Asking for my number and the texts the following day made me feel even better. On the same walk a group of guys stopped to play with Lola and one in particular was quite inquisitive. If I had found this confidence before I would have taken a risk. The bouncer at the club called to check in on me. I am desirable. I should feel confident in myself rather than wallow and wonder why I am not good enough for the men of my past.